Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
