Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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