Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
