Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
