She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I would ride that face into the sunset
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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