so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
