Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
