Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
