We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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