i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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