Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
