Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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