this boner is exhausting
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
