ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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