I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
