aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well I just put wine in my tea
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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