Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
