I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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