Do you still have your period?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
