i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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