My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize