i jhust puked up my retainher.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
