it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
