thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
