now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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