i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
