I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize