He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
