his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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