He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
