i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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