We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
