she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
