you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
