birth control should be required to get into college
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
