So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
