Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
