Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
