So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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