I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I fill condoms, not promises.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
