I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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