You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
