Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
