Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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