her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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