We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
