I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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