Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
