I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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