Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
