my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The Olympian is in my bed
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
