This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
