Even the bartender felt bad for me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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