found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
