yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
