Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
only if we run a train.
done.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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