Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
