I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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