Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
