No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
