you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize