I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
