dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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