Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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