What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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