I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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