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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize