Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
