I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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